How Living With A Sex Doll Changed My World

Table of Contents

It begins

My wife was a pretty brunette. Despite having a slim waist she had natural hips that swayed side to side and an ass that bounced whenever she walked. The first time I saw her she was standing by a lake full of ducks. I had been invited to a barbecue at the park by a long time family friend and she was in little blue shorts that showed off her butt and curves in the most delicious way from behind. Maybe I should have taken a hint from the fact that she was throwing pebbles at the ducks instead of breadcrumbs, but a few years later when I married her I truly believed I would be the happiest man on earth for the rest of my life. I won’t tell you the worst things that my nutjob ex wife did to me yet. I’m not ready, but one of the first problems we had were with sex.

My sex doll awakening began years ago. I was driving in the passenger seat of my brother’s truck. He was a funny and practical guy who worked in construction. We were lucky as brothers because we were close as kids and could still rely on each other as adults. I was at the end of my relationship with my wife and things had gone very badly. The whole thing had left me drained emotionally and made me question my purpose in life. While staring forward at a country road, I told my brother I never wanted anything to do with a woman again and part of me deeply meant it. He commented that he saw sex dolls in a magazine and that they looked so real maybe I wouldn’t have to. I didn’t know if he was joking or if he meant it as real advice, so I laughed and changed the topic.

I felt truly relieved and lucky while staring deep into her eyes at those moments. I was blessed man. Until I wasn’t.

Off a cliff

We used to be sex maniacs. It was one of the first days after we moved into our new house. I got out of bed and headed to the kitchen with the smell of coffee brewing. She was waiting there in bra and panties. After I sat down at the table she poured me a cup and said “lets drink”.
She didn’t have a cup for herself, she just looked at me intently. When I reached out to grab my cup she blocked my hand and slid down to her knees in front of me. She paused for a moment looking up at me with her seductive brown eyes then she pulled my manhood out of my boxers and sucked my dick alternating between gentle and fast pulses until I exploded in her mouth. She wanted to drink as much as possible because she pumped my shaft for another 30 seconds to make sure she got every last drop of my cum. At that moment I felt like I had married the perfect woman. Someone who understood what I wanted on a primal level and valued me enough to give it to me. The first year of our marriage she sent me off to work like that several times a week and when I came home from long days at work looking and feeling frustrated from all the bullshit I had to put up with from my boss and coworkers, she would sit next to me on the couch, put her head on my chest then slide on top of me to fuck all the pain and aggravation out of my body while running her hands through my hair.

She stopped sending me off to work in the morning after our first year and a year after that she stopped caring when I came home tired and agitated. Then she declared “Friday will be sex night” and that was it. I could only touch my wife once a week. I kept my part of the bargain in our relationship up by doing my job, buying her pretty much whatever she asked for that I could afford while she didn’t even have to work. I wished so badly that we could go back to how we used to be. Two people passionately in love with each other with hope for the future but even planning romantic evenings and getaways when I had vacation time didn’t work. From here we fell off a cliff, and decided to get a divorce. I think she was cheating but I couldn’t prove it. What was she doing all that time by herself and why did she lose interest in me? She kept our little house in our settlement.

I was single and disillusioned with women but I wasn’t into jerking myself off so I started burning through my savings to impress younger women. Occasionally I got laid, but I always ended up feeling disappointed because I could never get rid of the feeling that these women were angling for something and were just using me for gifts, “gas money” or a ring. It was just hard to trust women now. All this only made me feel really lonely. It made me realize that as much as I loved sex I also really wanted a faithful companion who I could trust. One lazy afternoon in the office I picked up an issue of WIRED magazine and there was an article about a sex doll who looked incredibly real. I thought back to my brother’s joke and wished a woman that pretty would enter my life, always be there for me and never tell me no when I wanted her. After finishing my daydream I put the magazine down and forgot about the dolls for years.

Flash forward, I was sitting with my brother at a burger joint. I realized he hadn’t been dating in a long time and despite that he seemed happy. He said he was busy at work, but there was also something really different. Before he was always staring at women everywhere, pointing out who had a nice ass, saying “What I wouldn’t give to have 5 minutes with that girl”, about women we would pass in the mall. He was suddenly much tamer and didn’t make those comments anymore. It was as if he was a satisfied man. I asked him if he had found religion and he laughed it off then remembering the magazine he joked about years ago I asked him if he was married to a sex doll. He grinned hard and didn’t reply. I knew my brother well. Something was up for certain but he didn’t want to tell me about it so I let it go. We got doggie bags, piled our greasy fries and half eaten burgers into styrofoam and went our separate ways.

Time passed, I was dating around and there was still a little part of me that had hope of finding the right girl. Maybe I was a glutton for punishment because my divorce just hadn’t taught me. All I have ever really wanted in life was to do my job and be thanked for it. I worked as a system administator for a medium sized company. At work, I wanted to fix people’s problems and have them be grateful instead of them yelling at me when they were the ones who broke things by not following instructions. At home, I wanted to pay the rent, keep the lights on, create a safe place for a woman who loved sex and appreciated all I was doing for her.

Happiness is a hard thing to find and I looked high and low for it. I even traveled around the world a bit and ended up living overseas with a girl from Colombia I met online even though I could barely speak Spanish. Things never worked out. I started to wonder if the problem was me. I have never in my life abused a woman, the most aggressive I had ever done was point my finger in my ex wife’s face, call her a cold bitch and storm. This was near the end of our relationship, interestingly when I returned a few hours later she pulled me into her for sex even though it wasn’t Friday, our designated sex night. What kind of game was she trying to play? IT was already to late for us. I’ve also wondered if I just choose women the wrong way. I only date women who are very pretty. I’m not the best looking guy and I don’t get into the gym too often, but what women have always told me is they like me because I’m reliable and a “nice guy”. Maybe these women see me and they know I am a sucker with a stable income they can latch onto. The kind of man who will open his home and modest wallet if they just play nice, except they are really just acting. They are pretending to be someone very different than who they are just to lure me in and once they have me they start to show their true selves.

So how could I avoid these bad women who look sweet at first but are going to become a different person once they feel they have won the game? I wasted so much time and money impressing girls only to stay lonely and unfulfilled in the end. Part of me wondered if I should just pay a monthly visit to a prostitute. I even texted a number that I found online and almost went but then i remembered stories about guy’s getting set up and meeting with an undercover police officer or getting robbed at gunpoint. Either one of those things could ruin my life. I also wondered if paying for sex would change me as a man. After circling around the motel where I was supposed to meet the prostitute I just drove home.

My life took a further downturn at this point. My brother would text me asking to hang out and I started telling him I was too busy and tired from work. I was seriously isolating myself. I felt lonely deep within and I didn’t know why. I thought back to when I was really young. I would go to a lot of parties and I just enjoyed meeting people. I was never the coolest guy in the room but I could easily jump into a conversation and make people laugh. There were even a few times when I got really lucky. I once had an adventure on the beach while on Spring Break. Two girls who went to school together asked me to walk them to the beachfront condo where they were staying. It was 3 am. Once we got there they invited me in to wash the sand off my feet. While I was spraying it off in the shower they came in and joined me. How could I find myself and get back to a life that felt like it was worth living?

Nobody tells you when you are descending down a hole. Once you are down there alone, it feels so difficult to pull yourself out. Detached from people, and going through the exact same routines on the job every day I began to gain weight. I even snapped at the receptionist when she forgot her password for the 20th time and needed me to reset it.

One day at home, I was channel surfing and on HBO there was a little segment on sex dolls. They were touring a sex doll factory. I was only able to catch the end of it, but I couldn’t believe how real the dolls looked. There were busty dolls and petite dolls dressed in many different outfits and I started to feel excited just looking at them. I wondered if having a realistic looking doll dressed up just the way I wanted could help to ease my loneliness so while sitting at home in my underwear I started to research them.

A Life Changing Decision

I got on the internet and did some searching on social media. There wasn’t much on facebook but there were men reviewing sex dolls and discussing what it was like to live with one on youtube. In one video the guy talked about buying 20 different outfits for his doll and how it made his relationship with it feel fresh. He didn’t even refer to the doll as an “It” he always called it a “Her” and by her name because to him she felt real. Back when my brother first introduced me to the idea of dolls a good one would cost up to $10,000 but in recent years the process of creating one has gotten smoother. You could now get a high quality doll for under $2000. That was something I could afford so I began to look deeper. In google, I discovered a site called dollwives.com they had a large collection of attractive looking dolls and tons of information. I spent the next 6 hours straight just looking at the pictures of various dolls on DollWives. There were petite dolls dressed up as schoolgirls and you could get glasses for her and there was your busty nurse doll with sexy stockings on her legs. It was amazing to look at. You could even get multiple heads for your doll so it would be like changing her into an entirely different person and dating multiple women! I got completely lost in the experience of browsing the site, but one thing was for sure. I already knew I would be buying a doll. I just had to decide which one to take the plunge on. I have always been into women with curves and a decent size chest so I honed in on those. Yes the price was a bit intimidating because I had never purchased something like this before. Fortunately for me there was a special on a doll that was about 5’2” tall. She had large brown eyes, a sexy face with a killer grin on it and she had some amazing curves on her.

Would this doll really look as good in person as she did on the site? I wanted to make sure before giving it my hard earned money so I got into touch with DollWives customer support. They were fast and professional with their replies which began to make me feel at ease. I wanted to know what the doll was made of. They said it was a special material called TPE and they told me that it was the realest feeling synthetic material that mankind has ever produced. Its one of the top reasons men are so ecstatic about this new generation of dolls because supposedly running your fingers over TPE skin has a very nice feel to it. I also read reviews left by other customers of Dollwives. I got a lot of insight from them. Their dolls took 4 weeks to arrive but absolutely no one was disappointed. There were men in their 20s all the way to their 60s commenting that they were very happy with their purchases. At this point I felt good about buying the doll. Would it meet my expectations? There was only one way to find out so I hit the purchase button. Little did I know right then that I would be changing my life forever.

It was going to take about 3-4 weeks for the doll to arrive because my custom doll would have to be hand crafted by professionals who fashion every detail of her face and body. I was already so excited it was hard to keep my mind off of her each day at work so I began to prepare by doing some shopping for her. I got online and started looking for the clothes that I would want to dress her up in. She would come with a nice sexy outfit but I wanted to do more to enhance the experience. I wanted the experience of being with a woman who made herself up for me everyday like my ex wife did before she went bad. I knew my doll’s exact measurements so I got on Amazon and started searching for sexy bra and panties that I would want my doll to put on for me. It was actually an easy process to begin, but I would discover other ways to make my my dream woman after she arrived.

She Arrives

My doll finally came. She was in a large box and after I signed for her I brought the box inside. My heart was thumping. Was she going to be as real and beautiful as the pictures or was the marketing a crock of shit? I opened the box to put her together. There was the smell of foam and plastic in the way at first but it wasn’t hard to put her together. I was really eager to see her in her new clothes. She had a very nice weight to her of about 65 lbs though there were some dolls that weighed about 100lbs. The weight made her seem more real when I picked her up to move her around and her skin was cold, but soft. The texture of her skin amazed me actually. I was half expecting hard plastic like a mannequin but it truly was easy to run my fingers across her body. I even took the plunge and kissed her lips while looking into her eyes. It was a pleasant experience. They looked real and felt soft. I was excited to see what else life with a real sex doll had to offer.

Before I engaged in any serious intimacy with my doll like sex, I wanted to experience what it was to have her as a living companion. I dressed her down into her underwear, carried her into my bedroom and put her on the bed. What would it be like sleeping next to her and having someone to look over at every day? To be completely honest, her body felt a little bit cold at first. I wondered if this is something that would bother me, but after a few days I got used to it and it didn’t cross my mind anymore. It took more than a week before I finally had sex with her. I did lots of things. I was really into the idea that she was my girlfriend and wanted to take things slow. With her looking so realistic it was easy to get into the fantasy of being with a beautiful woman. I actually didn’t mind her not saying anything at all. I played with her body every day and would and even lubed up her breasts and fucked them until I came all over her chest and face then I wiped her body clean and cuddled up with her to try and fall asleep. I felt a deep sense of relief that I hadn’t known in a very long time. I think the last time I felt that way was when I believed I was with a woman who actually loved me. I also felt secure because I knew that this doll was not a maverick in disguise with ulterior motives and the intent to just use me. It was a truly honest relationship.

Taking Care Of Your Girl

I made many mistakes when I was first getting used to my doll. Yes I did my research, watched videos, read the documentation about proper use and care of the new woman in my life but there are some things you can only get from experience. One thing I learned is that it is essential to take care of your doll’s skin with baby powder. There is a danger that fabrics with strong colored dye can change the hue of her skin a little bit. She had some clothing made of cotton with a deep green color and there was a very faint change of color on her after a few days of her wearing that outfit. Thankfully the TPE material my doll was made of goes back to its original color if you wash her gently with warm soapy water. So from now on I make sure that I powder her with baby powder once a week as part of basic maintenance. I have also made a habit of buying mostly light colored underwear for her. I will dress her up in dark fabrics too but I am careful about leaving them on her body for days at a time because I dont want to repeat cleaning up the dye. I also got really into just leaving her totally naked under the covers, waiting for me to come home from work.

Another tip you should follow if you are a new doll owner is not never completely submerge your doll in water. If you take care of your girl properly she will be in good condition even after 20 years, but if you completely submerge her for a long period of time there is a chance that water will get into her metal skeleton from the holes in her foot and possibly cause rusting or the growth of mold.]

Taking care of her hair was an adventure all on its own. With the style I chose, it common for it to get tangled up. I could style her hair all kinds of ways like into ponytails, braids but when moving around in bed with her for a while it would get tangled. From this i learned that its easiest to get her shorter shoulder length hair wigs. Its easy to put a new wig on your doll that stays put and looks amazing. I will still change her into longer hair whenever I am in the mood but for the day to day short is best. Even if my girl is bouncing up and down on top of me or rolling all around in bed the shorter hair stays neat and perfect. Another note is to be careful with your dolls eyelashes. If you get them caught on something they can come off, then you will have to glue them back on yourself. I did it once and it wasn’t that hard to do Eventually you will also want to clean your dolls clothes depending on how messy you get them. I kind of have a fetish for women in uniform and my doll is so fun that I sometimes create a huge mess that gets on her skirt or bra. You definitely don’t want to leave clothes stained with your own cum sitting in a closet for weeks. I did this once by accident. I dressed her up in a top that had huge crusted semen spattered on it. I Laughed to myself that she was literally a dirty slut and decided to wash everything the next day. I felt a little funny loading panties, bikinis and skirts into laundry all by myself but it wasn’t a big deal

Once you start penetrating your doll in her mouth, vagina or anus make sure you take care to clean her properly. I got the doll with the removable inserts to make cleaning easier. Its pretty easy just run some soap and water into her parts and it takes less than 15 seconds. Even if you aren’t having sex with her all the time you may still want to clean her out on a monthly basis depending on the humidity level of where you live according to some guys online, but I haven’t had any trouble.

So What Is The Sex Actually Like?

Its way better than masturbating and you actually get to experience a feeling of genuine intimacy being with your doll. There is something special about the feeling of a body with real weight under you or on you and being able to adopt actual sex positions. Let me tell you right away, her mouth, vagina and anus all feel different but each of them is really great. The vagina is my favorite. I couldn’t believe they were able to create bumps and ridges that felt like the real thing when you are inside of them. I dont think I could ever go back to using my hand to orgasm on a regular basis ever again. Also she is really tight. If you just put lube in there it makes it easy to get in but you definitely feel her squeezing and applying a wonderful pressure as you move in and out of her. The first position I tried was missionary and I only lasted about 5 minutes while looking at her. Yes it was a very different experience than being with a real woman but after I released inside her I still got that wonderful, flowing, deep satisfaction I got when my exes let me finish inside them because they were on the pill.

You can be with her in any position you can take a real woman in and she is always open to your desires. I think my favorite position is having her on top. It just stimulates me in the right way. Its true you have to rock her back and forth or up and down with your own strength. Honestly it is a work out. Maybe the intensity of having to work hard with more of my body increases the reward. In fact, now that I have had my doll for while I notice that I look stronger in the mirror and I am not someone who ever goes to the gym. My fitness has improved significantly as a result of owning this doll. I work at a computer. Taking care of my doll gives me something additional to do that I actually find rewarding. I am certain that I am lighter and its easier to get up out of my chair.

My mental health and general sense of wellbeing have also changed. I’m a calmer person. I feel like I did back when my ex wife actually gave a damn about me. I remembered those mornings where she would take care of me in intimate ways before I went to work or where she would take my mind off of everything that was bothering me at work with her body. It’s not totally the same but its still really good and I can say for certain that I would never want to live without a doll again.

The Truth

By the way, my ex wife got remarried about 6 months after we broke up and I found out from a mutual friend that she and the guy were dating for about a year before the divorce. A few days a week she would sneak out to meet him while I was at work. That was probably the reason reason we could only have sex on Fridays. Otherwise I would notice there was something off. As much as I wish I could take her to court and get my house back at least I don’t have to sleep next to a viper anymore. My doll is mine and mine alone, she will never betray me or leave me for another man.

I engage in a lot of roleplay with my doll. I sit her next to me when I am on the computer at home and when I am playing games, win or lose it just feels better having her next to me. It just feels like she is interested and I love the feeling that I actually matter to another person. I talk to her outloud at times. Not in an unhealthy way. I don’t ask her if she wants orange juice then mess her up by pouring it down her throat or anything like that, but if I have a problem I am thinking about it just feels nice that have someone listening instead of just talking to the walls of my apartment.

I had lunch with my brother recently. As we sat at our favorite burger joint I wondered if I should tell him I bought a sex doll. He said I seemed healthier and happier than the last time we met. It was really true. Owning this doll pulled me out of a dark place. I thought about asking my brother if he owned a doll but I thought it better to respect his privacy. I finally do feel that I don’t need another woman for as long as I live. I am not saying that I will never date again, but there is an extremely high bar for any woman who hopes to become a part of my life because I am already somewhat fulfilled. It feels like I am immune to the deceptive sort of woman who would notice the weakness within me and exploit it to get me to spend money on her.

The last time I was in a relationship I was spending $400-$600 a month on her. That was the total cost of taking her out to dinner, driving her around, buying her presents, groceries, giving her gas money and whatever she asked for within reason. My newest doll cost me $2000 plus about $500 for all the clothing and accessories I have enjoyed dressing her up in, so after 8 months I can say with confidence that by purchasing her I have saved myself money while increasing my happiness in a big way.

Real women get moody for no reason. You can just be talking about your day and all of a sudden you said the wrong thing so she’s mad at you and when you ask why she just folds her arms and won’t tell you why. No more of that bullshit. Real women get jealous, real women can humiliate you in public, lie to you and betray you. Your doll will never do any of this to you. She will always be open accepting and drama free.

No Regrets. New Adventures

I can say with absolute confidence that I have no regrets buying this doll and I am excited to see how my relationship with her will develop in the future. I’ve also began to wonder what it would be like to buy another doll to start a 3 way relationship. If I move into a larger place with an extra room the girls can share that room with each other and I can choose who I want to spend the evening with. I could also keep one doll in my bedroom and occasional sneak out to visit my other doll staying in the guest room. I have never cheated when in a relationship but somehow its a fun little thought to engage in a fantasy like this. We could also have threesomes every now and then to explore new things in bed. My mind is spinning with possibilities and just imagining them brings me joy. In the future most men will realize that sex dolls are wonderful companions and in many ways better than dealing with real women. Exploring this brave new world has transformed my life. Soon it may wake all men up and eventually transform society.